Sunday, August 31, 2008

Livejournal Post, 8/31/08

I realize that I have a newfound responsibility to friends and aquiantances- namely, to keep them updated and free of worry.

so, brief update- I have a 3x3" tumor wedged in between bone and muscle. They are running tests at Stanford now and still won't give me a definitive cancer/no cancer diagnosis after 2 weeks of waiting.

Aside from the opiate haze, I've been filling my days with an insatiable amount of reading and sketching for senior collection. Of course, this has also been a time of introspection and loneliness. I am very lucky to have people in my life that care about me, whether they can be here or not.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

a case of the cancerous maybes

the maybes are the sickness that spreads. the hypothetical continues to plague my thoughts and those of anyone close.
I would like to know if this pain growing inside me will be my downfall. I would like to know, grieve, and get the hell on with it. I hate indecision. I hate the middle.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Livejournal Post, 8/20/08- The beginning of it all!

9 hours in the ER yesterday.
ovaries are fine, but other places are not.
scary times.
i am incapacitated for the time being,the pain only slightly hindered by percocet.
biopsy in the next couple of days, hopefully.
i'll be in sac for the forseeable future.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Livejournal Post, 8/17/08

This might be a little personal, but I feel more comfortable asking my aquiantances on lj as opposed to some sort of mass text...

I've been having extremely intense pain in my left ovary since May- It's always mid-month and has usually lasted 3 days or so. This kind of pain is usually associated with ovulation and considered normal, but I'm on bc and therefore should not be ovulating. I went to my obgyn and she didn't feel anything unusual.

This month the pain is earlier (by 5 days), longer (now going on 3 days) and more painful. I fainted in the line for Safeway from the pain recently. It's so intense I want to cry, and I'm basically bed ridden. Pain shoots from under my pelvic bone and down my leg.
Painkillers fail to work anymore, so I've been taking sleeping pills just to escape the misery.
I have an appt. for an ultrasound on weds, but damn. I'm wondering if I should go in tomorrow.
So my question is... any women out there experience this? Sisters, friends, whatever... I'm wondering what this kind of unbearable pain could be and how other people have dealt with it/been diagnosed.

tumor, cyst, ovarian cancer, middelshmertz... I have no clue, but something is very obviously "wrong", and my doctor doesn't seem to be too concerned or willing to help.
can anyone shed some light?