Sunday, January 25, 2009

camera obscura

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Today I found the stack of photobooth pictures that used to adorn my fridge. I stared at them for a good 10 minutes, unable to recognize the constant in all of them. That hair, those good times. Whose are they? Certainly not mine. I feel like I'm staring at a dead girl. The people in these photos have gone on to do all sorts of things- some have moved away, some are having babies, some are in love now. Some are out of love. Some I see more, most I see less. I am the same. I died in September, and now I'm just waiting to be born again.
I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror, either. Here, I am totally alien. Bald like a baby, except for blond downy hair that seems to be sprouting up everywhere. I wonder if I will be blond now. eep. I don't want to be a whole new person just yet.

For posterity's sake, here was my radiation burn last week:
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It's so strange having a burn eat up your skin seemingly out of nowhere. Lamest super power ever.

Another effect of radiation? Laziness. My dreams are becoming too easily decipherable. Last night I dreamt I had a boxing match with death. He was eight feet tall and shrouded and absolutely terrifying. He then turned into a man that suspiciously resembled Ryan Seacrest. I couldn't touch him, lest I die, so I boxed with red knitted mittens on my hands. Thanks subconcious. I already knew that I like boxing and knitting and that I am still a little scared of death and definitely very scared of Ryan Seacrest.

3 comments:

Aftercancer said...

Ryan Seacreast as death is a new one for me. You might want to read A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore, a completely new perspective of death. (Fiction and funny).

Hope the radiation fades soon, completely sucky superpower.

Anonymous said...

Can we take more of those at the state fair this year? haha I love you bathing me. I miss and love you very much. -Vicki :)

laura said...

I just wrote a post on a very similar topic. I know what it is like to look in the mirror and want to scream, "Who the hell is that?!" I think that you are very pretty anyhow, and I hope that you give Seacrest a run for his money in your next dream.

I remember radiation burn ... argh. Hang in there. It gets worse before it gets better ... but then it's like it never happened.