Thursday, January 21, 2010

Listen to your body, not your doctor.

Scan Results: NED. Woo! 8 months cancer free!

This hospital trip was slightly better. I was able to hold it together until the Asian lady at the bakery refused to serve me. Isn't that always the way it goes? You keep a straight face throughout the day, and then the tiniest insignificant obstacle causes a full blown shit-fest.

I gritted my teeth through the port flush. I asked my Onc about disability options and was denied (damn kids trying to abuse the system). I voiced my concern over worsening chronic pain in my hip/back/everywhere and, because my scans are clear, was not-so-subtly accused of opiate dependency (damn kids trying to abuse the system!). Because scans tell ALL, right? If the scan says I'm not in pain, I guess I'm not in pain.

So, feeling defeated despite the joyous news of N.E.D, I sought respite via coffee and pastries at the Kaiser cafe area. I order my shit. I have no cash. I am three dollars away from being able to use my debit card. "No card, under limit!!!" militant Asian lady snaps at me. I am unwilling to buy 4 more muffins just to be able to use my card. Defeated again, I ask, "can I have a cup of water?" She slams a little paper cup on the counter. "Fifty cent!!"

I stare at her. Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me. You will not give a cancer patient a mother fucking dixie cup? And then I lost it. Like, completely lost my shit and sat bawling, hungry, and humiliated in the cafe until I could pick up my prescription.

Moral of the story: If you are poor, always carry cash. If you are a cunt, don't work at a hospital.


So, back to my Onc visit. Now that I have hair and look like a normal twenty-something, I am noticing a massive amount of skepticism and disbelief when it comes to medical issues. There seems to be a general misconception that young people can't be trusted. We just want drugs and attention. People, even medical professionals, fail to realize that Chemo completely rapes and pillages your body, causing long-term issues unrelated to cancer. Chemotherapy annihilates cancer (if you're lucky) just as it annihilates the rest of your healthy cells.

If I were to listen to my Doctor, I would be taking Ibuprofen and hot baths for debilitating pain. I would assume the pain is all in my head. Which was exactly what I was told before my Cancer diagnosis.

I am angry about all of this. Livid. And I'm not quite sure what to do about it, suffice to say: Listen to your body, not your doctor. Do research yourself. Find your own solution. Make your own educated diagnosis. Get second and third opinions until you finally find someone who will listen. Don't sit back and suffer.



oh and p.s.- I'm still working on getting my computer fixed. Despite the rant above, I am so so happy to be in remission. I'll take my pain over cancer any day...

11 comments:

Kris said...

That's terrible that they are not treating your pain adequately. Just a suggestion - have you considered a pain specialist? They tend to be a little more understanding about pain and perhaps can prescribe a stronger medication for you. Also, some people have success with acupuncture. Good luck!

M said...

Honey, is they are any way you can see a different doctor? You don't have to put up with being treated like this! Check on ratemds.com for reviews of other docs in your area.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that old lady at the cafe :( I would punch her in the face. I'm sorry! I love and miss you very much if you need to talk just call me.

love you!
Vicki

Anonymous said...

In the meantime, certain of your Ewing's friends have had horrible developments and you haven't even noticed or acknowledged them despite the care they showed you.

Elly Lou said...

Congrats on the scans!

kaylin marie said...

kris- I'm going to try acupuncture in a few weeks, I'll let you know how it goes...

m- I'll check out ratemds, it looks like a good resource.

devon- If you want to talk, email me or text. I'll offer any support I can. Don't anonymously post such serious things!!

sn0tty said...

Hysterical. Hey, there's a Soup Nazi character at every café in every hospital in America - there's a special place in Hades for them.

First time to your blog - I love your perspective and sense of humor.

Rach said...

Haha, you're like an American me! Except I started a blog about my bone cancer over a year ago, got bored after two posts and closed it down, nobody likes a quitter, I know. I want a link to the girl you talk about in your 'fraud' post, sounds amusing... Keen to see what your post chemo 7 month hair growth is like as I'm 2 months post treatment and it's really going for it! Keep up the frankly hilarious wortk, Rach xxx

Rach said...

Ok so I was being lazy and have now seen your hair update from December, it's so pweeeedy, I want to put a vegetable dye on mine soon, though it's pretty rock solid even after 2 months so I think it'd take a real dye. The videos from Jax... bit suss, first thing that struck me was how much time she has to spend doing video blogs... at home. I've just finished 8 months of chemo and was at home about 7 days a month max, then my regime was a particularly harsh one but still. hmmm.

Sam said...

Doctors can be real assholes sometimes. My doc didn't even believe anything was wrong with me at first, she kept treating me like I was a hypochondriac and she didn't even try to hide it. But YES I completely agree with you, listen to your body, not your doctor. Just because they went to college for 8-12 years doesn't mean they know EVERYTHING about your body. Only you can know how you're feeling. Keep your head up! Keep writing!

Applecart T. said...

i am guessing DearKaiser doesn't "cover" pain specialist centers …

hero on, young one. thanks for still being here.

love from a stranger,
t.