I am sorry for not returning calls and emails. Deep down I want to shield all of my friends from this experience. I don't want myself to be a reminder of their own mortality. I'd rather just disappear for the time being and come back healthy.
Sometimes your life just exhibits this weird continuity... I am convinced that time has already happened and we are just chugging along on one track of consciousness when there is this whole network of railways, unknown to us. Enough deepness, though. This post should be about two things only:
eyebrows and bad t.v.
#1.) My eyebrows have fallen out, now four months into chemo. I am mourning. Despite all of the effects, from the baldness to the constant nausea, eyebrows and eyelashes were the things that kept me looking (and feeling) human. Plus, they were really nice eyebrows. beautiful arches of glory. RIP.
#2.) Cancer makes you a t.v. addict. Not just any t.v. addict, mind you, but the long, sprawling teen melodrama kind. I did not watch t.v. for three years, so many of these pop-culture references are only just coming to realization. For instance:
I saw this circa 2005.
This guy went to a Halloween party as Sandy Cohen's eyebrow. I had no idea who Sandy Cohen was, but the idea of dressing yourself up as one giant eyebrow left a lasting impression.
I started watching The O.C. today. Yes, from the beginning. It's an embarrassing reality of cancer-patient life, even worse than the vomiting. So, I was watching... and saw a sight so horrifying:
I KNOW that eyebrow!! and yes, immediately deduced that this was indeed Sandy Cohen. (proof that it was a REALLY good costume).
That's about it. I have lost my eyebrows and regressed to watching The OC. I will leave you with this witty little piece of banter:
"god dad those eyebrows are out of control."
"it's a sign of power, you know..."
"well then, you must be the most powerful man in the world."