Saturday, January 3, 2009

creation=happiness=selfishness

I was lying in bed this morning, thinking about mortality and what a load of shit cryogenic freezing is, and I wonder if Walt Disney really did freeze himself, and isn't that a funny thing, how we must always concoct a darker side to make a person more human, when I decided I'd like to write a novel someday.

I know, you're thinking, "HAHAHHAHA yeah right".
But I am right.

I have always written prose and poetry, but I believe I have enough life experience under my belt, finally, to start something truly monumental. Plus, now I've got the time and energy to devote to writing, as it is just about the only creative outlet I can still indulge in. Thank you, cancer.

All of this novel nonsense comes with a sense of added urgency. I am afraid I will die with my millions of genius thoughts before I express them- imagine, everything gone in an instant. I figure, if worst comes to absolute worst and my health starts deteriorating, I'll still have maybe a year or so before cancer kills me. I can write a novel in a year. I can write, write, write. It's just about the only thing I have left.

My initial plot and character outlines are in no way related to cancer. I've found a rather clever way to use my experience with illness, both mental and physical, without the story becoming too autobiographical. So far I've been obsessed with fleshing out the details. Everything is coming together with more ease than anything I've ever written.

there is a perfect moment for everything, I suppose.

5 comments:

petes said...

you should !! i'm sure it would be a much better book than my idea of a book full of half thought of ideas that someone else should carry out (because i'm to lazy) but give me money for ... like , a tv show called "me and gigante" where a mexican immigrant shares a cramped new york apartment with an elephant , hilarious ... =(

christina hurricane said...

do it, girl. cancer gave me the courage and drive to write, and it's a great blessing. (albeit one cloaked in a shit cape.) we all leave little piece of ourselves as we go, but it's such a unique and rewarding way to do so by leaving behind art.

I'm sending tons of good juju your way, as well as 0 and 1 encrypted hugs.

Aftercancer said...

I was at Disney World in Florida about 10 years or so ago and someone had put up a flyer, just the size of notebook paper where they had a drawing of Walt's head in a jar and wrote something like Come See Uncle Walt in Tomorrowland. By the time I found my husband to show it to him it was gone.

Just thought you'd get a kick, write, what's the worst thing that can happen?

laura said...

happy new year!

you're a great writer; you should definitely scribble as much as you can.

this is a great idea. i know that when cancer kicks me in the ass, being creative is a great solace.

keep writing.

Sarah A. Conley said...

please do! i felt very inspired to write during and after cancer. i started a book and started blogging. not sure that i'll ever publish my self-help book, but i love writing, nonetheless.

and i love your writing.