Sunday, August 29, 2010

On this day of August twenty-ninth, 2010

It is with great sorrow (and a fair amount of disbelief) that I announce my second primary cancer diagnosis.

This time it is papillary thyroid carcinoma- I have surgery scheduled for this Thursday. They'll be taking out the whole gland, plus any lymph nodes that are involved. We shall go from there.

The diagnosis comes just weeks before my intended move to New York. All plans are put on hold. I'll need to stay in California for close monitoring. There go my dreams again, off to the dump. Perhaps I'll get to reclaim them later, little lost treasures, just like last time.

It is almost two years- to the day- of my Ewing's dx in 2008.
Why are my cells so goddamn uppity?

It started with a cyst. A lump on my neck, right above the clavicle, about the size of a walnut. I thought it was a swollen lymph node. Upon biopsy it was revealed that the lump is mostly old blood from cappillaries in the thyroid gland, mixed with pus and lymph fluid- my body's futile attempt at fighting back.

So here we are, a lump, a second cancer, a postponing of life once again.

As celebration, or distraction, D and I went to the carnivorous plant nursery in Sebastapol.

deadly beautiful things.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


This illustration is so... so symmetrical. I love how the roots sprout from the pelvic bone.