my hair is almost shoulder length, rejoice.

This is not a goodbye.

My scans are "stable", whatever that means. NED after one year. Sometimes life does go on, isn't that odd? And what are we to do when we expected it wouldn't?

I've finally graduated with my BFA in Fashion Design and participated in the senior show this past May 7th. None of this means much out of context, but I am proud. I'm proud that I didn't let cancer fuck up my plans all that much. Now I have no plans, nor do I want to make any- I just want to keep expelling ideas and art until I croak. I'll float on and go where I go.

I am leaving this here for you.

Now that I'm looking for a real job I can't be as candid as I would like. People Google. Not everyone appreciates the hilarity of a deadly disease. I have to sensor myself. If you enjoy my writing please friend me on Livejournal at [girl_sets_fire]. On lj I can muse about weirdness, inspiration, the struggle with depression, SI, and cancer after-affects without worry of exploitation or being "found out".

This is not a goodbye.

Someone asked who the artist of "Vanitas" was, a couple posts down... his name is Fernando Vicente.

Here are some figure studies for his paintings:







Beautiful insides.

Interesting article about the difference in survival rates of pediatric vs. adult patients. It mentions Ewings Sarcoma and ALL, among others. Statistics are so terribly enticing- I know I shouldn't read on, but I just HAVE to...

"...for teenagers and young adults like her, the prospects for survival had barely budged..."

*EDIT*

This link is MIA but if you search for the file "InTheirPrimeandDying.pdf" you'll be able to read it in google reader.

On coming and going, and finally arriving:

Alicia Parlette- I had no idea she existed until I stumbled upon an announcement of her death recently. A writer living in SF who discovered she had sarcoma at 23, Alicia kept a blog about her cancer experience on the SF Chronicle web site.

Our stories are eerily similar. I wish I could have talked to her. The cancer struggle often goes on for years, on and off, and you've no choice but take it all in stride...

Here's her wiki:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alicia_Parlette

Here's her blog:

http://www.sfgate.com/alicia/

On a lighter note, here are a few preliminary shots from my thesis collection:


It's a dress with a tumor; how cancer-centric can I get??


I've decided that if my yearly scan is clear, I'm going to retire this blog for the time being. It is what I wanted it to be- a candid documentation of cancer treatment. It's over now, and I doubt anyone wants to hear about my chronic pain every few weeks.

That said, I won't be a stranger ;)
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and if it's back... well, I'll get to take you on a whole new adventure.

My birthday is in a few weeks... no, not my legal birthday, but the day I went from living dead to just plain living again. May 1st was my last day of chemo. It's the day I got out of prison... I can't believe it's been a whole year. It feels like just a few months have passed.

Yearly scans May 10th

Graduation show May 7th

Deadline for my senior collection garments: this Friday.

I have been working SO HARD. A whirlwind of work. Stitching still my eyes burn and my fingers bleed (literally!). I pulled an all-nighter, which is requisite college behavior, no? I was able to work through the night but my body retaliated soon after: fever and sweats, a debilitating migraine, and vomiting/heaving for the subsequent weekend. I'm still learning my body's limits, even a year after the fact.

Remember when I was bald? I don't. I can't even recognize myself, it's like I was in utero...

I just want to say, very quickly, WOOHOO HEALTHCARE REFORM!!!!

I realize it will take several years to be put into effect, but I'm so happy this passed in congress. Sharing is caring, even if it's our hard-earned money. Healthcare should NOT be big business, in my opinion.

Here are a couple of links, spelling out the pros and cons in a simple and succinct way:

Pros and Cons of the healthcare reform proposal

5 key things to remember about healthcare reform

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